Change

Everyone looks at change in two ways:

Good or Bad.

Throughout my whole life, I found myself typically looking at change as a negative thing, mainly because all the changes in my life up until this point were for the most part negative. But I recently came to the realization that the only reason I felt that way was because everyone around me was changing.

I came to the point where it was me, myself who changed. And when I changed, it was because I grew, and I took full advantage of that and changed EVERYTHING.

I guess other people have been seeing it in me for a while but haven't said anything, and looking back now, I was pretty oblivious for not seeing it, but a few weeks ago, I finally noticed it, and it all hit me at once. I changed, and grew, and realized what I wanted in my life, and so far, I'm happier than I've ever been. Everyone has been telling me I seem so much happier and more confident and it's been absolutely amazing. I finally realized what I want to do with the rest of my life that I'll be happy with, and have finally got around to doing all the things I needed to do to get accepted to the college that will help me do those things. I started exercising, cleaning more, getting my school work done, and I've just been feeling all around more productive.

But, the one big life changing decision I made that made me happier than ever was one that happened because of all the changing and growing I've been doing. In the process of realizing what I wanted in life, I realized what I wanted in a guy. That's right, I broke up with my boyfriend of over 3 years. Everyone was taken by surprise, some people were even a little mad and sad (especially him, he didn't see it coming, but hey, neither did I). But as my daddy put it:

"People grow up and they grow in different directions."

I was growing and realizing what I wanted, and he was still sitting at home, stuck in his books, stressing out way too much, unable to handle it, and depending on his parents way too much. He's book smart, but when it comes to coping with things on his own and life skills, I just didn't see it there. I see how he lives, and realize that's not the kind of guy I need in my life. I just wasn't happy anymore and it had to change.

I guess it's been building up since the summer, but I never quite noticed, and it just all hit me at once a couple of weeks ago. I'll admit, I got some help when it came to realizing it, but people come into our lives for certain reasons, and those reasons include helping you to realize when you're not happy. =)

As I mentioned earlier, up until this point, all the change in my life has been negative (Friends changing, moving around so much, harder school work, losing people super close to me...), but I've worked so hard to make the best of it, and though it took some time and coping, I managed to pull through. So just try your hardest to make the best of a bad situation. Trust me, if I, the biggest complainer of anyone I know, can do it, so can you.

And now that I'm the one initiating the change, I can now say change isn't always bad. Now if I ever get mad about other people changing, I can just think:

"As long as they feel as happy as I do now about it, then I can be happy for them."